Surviving the Untimely Death of a Loved One
Brigitte
Have you lost someone you love dearly?
Everything was a blur, I couldn’t believe he was really gone. The only place I could ever find him again is six feet under. I don’t remember much from the day of my father’s funeral,everything seemed so surreal.
My greatest moments of joy was to be around my dad, he was not only my father but one of my best friends. I know this might sound cheesy, but I lost a major part of my identity. At the time I didn’t realize it,but the following years would show me otherwise.
I’m not sure if anyone has ever been told this is how to grieve ? Or that grief comes in many forms. How to still function when you’ve a experience loss. It’s easy to tell someone in hindsight that you understand, even if you’ve never gone through a similar loss. Because it sounds good. But,in my own personal experience grief can feel never ending at times. And I can point out a few things that I wished others and including myself would’ve done differently when responding to someone’s grieving.
Many times, these deaths come as the result of long illnesses, but sometimes the deaths are sudden and unexpected. In either case, grief can be overwhelming.
Losing a loved one can feel like a piece of you has been taken away. Normal day-to-day activities require much more energy when you’re grieving.
Dealing with the pain effectively can help you pick up the pieces that are left and continue to live.
“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.”
You are Not Alone. Grieving Is A Process .
Try these methods to help with your grief and move forward:
1. Surround yourself with support. Initially, you may want to be left alone with your thoughts or you may be afraid to love anyone else again. Those feelings are completely normal and even expected. Eventually, though, isolating yourself can be unhelpful to your recovery.
- Accept the support of others. Sure, people may sometimes say the wrong thing, but most of them sincerely want to help. Seek companionship and be open about your feelings. When people offer to bring you a meal or spend an evening with you, accept it. Everyone needs support through difficult times.
2.Keep it real. Be honest with yourself about how you feel and accept your feelings. There’s no right or wrong way to feel when you’re mourning. Part of the healing process involves you allowing your emotions, however intense, to come out freely.
3.Educate yourself. Research the topic of grief to learn the signs and strategies for coping with it. Educating yourself on the subject can be essential to the healing process.
- As you do your research, you’ll begin to understand your feelings. You’ll discover that others who have lost someone they love also feel your feelings and you’ll learn about what others have done to work through grief.
4. Take it one day at a time. When you’re faced with death, all you may see is a blank wall in front of you. Looking beyond the event and imagining life without your loved one may feel extremely challenging. Your feelings may be so overwhelming that they cloud your view.
- Certainly, life will never be the same, and you must learn to adjust to living with the absence. However, there’s a brighter picture hiding behind that wall, which you’ll eventually be able to see.
5. Have realistic expectations regarding your progress. Grieving takes time and energy. Pace yourself: set small goals and celebrate milestones. Expect challenges when special holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays roll around. But be ready to continue on your journey to recovery.
6. Seek grief counseling Had it not been the gentle nudging of my supervisor, I probably would not have considered going to a grief counselor. The thing is when your grieving it doesn’t just affect one aspect of your life it affects all of them.
Your are not able to see it first hand because your still in a state of emotional paralysis or shock. This is why having a neutral party who has experience in this area can help guide you out through it.
7. Join a support group There’s something so wonderful about connecting with others who are going through the same thing and hear them verbalize what you probably couldn’t put to words. Let’s face it you may have love ones who mean well, but oftentimes it can be quite frustrating when they are trying to accelerate your process of grieving.
Everyone doesn’t process grief the same some take longer than others to get back to living life without the loved one who has passed on.
Conclusion
Life After the Death of a Loved one
It’s common for people who survive a loved one to feel guilty about having fun. You may ask yourself, “How dare I enjoy life without my loved one present?”
But in reality, you’re not betraying your loved done by having fun. In fact, the best way we can honor those who have passed away is by living our lives to the fullest.
There Is No Wrong or Right Way to Grieve
Taking the first step to understand what your experiencing is vital to begin the healing process. Take this mini quiz to learn more.